A friend of mine called me yesterday and told me a lot of things about what's going on with her love life right now... for some people they might say that this question is a li'l bit mushy.... but to those who are having problems in lovelife and can relate to this question then you are free to leave a comment...
8 comments:
I think I would really try to analyze why I was no longer in love, decide if I could make it work (do I have enough time and emotion invested in making it work) and then talk with my partner in a diplomatic way, in an effort to fix the problem.
Of course love is a two-way street. What is your partner thinking? Communication is always the key, I think, to an open, rewarding relationship.
I think there's another question hidden here, and that's whether it was really love to begin with. That's the hard part for me from personal experience. People trick themselves into love all the time. And it's true that no matter what you do, there will be hurt involved. Staying and not truly loving hurts both parties.
If you are really no longer love, then you're not only hurting yourself but you're hurting the other person in the long run by staying. If you really are no longer in love there is nothing more to do but end things. If you're not sure... then it doesn't matter if it is love because there's something big enough missing that it's not the right love for you. I know it's never that black and white, but I'm an outsider looking in... so I can be so black & white about it.
I have to agree with Franscud here. If they just woke up and suddenly were not in love, I think the real question is whether the person ever was in love. I don't believe you can just fall out of real love so easily.
I also agree with the other comments, as in a situation like that you will definitely want to analyze it, decide if you can and want to try to fix the problem. From my experience, there is usually something that changed to make this sudden realization happen and it can be fixed, if talked about it.
I'd tell the person and get the ball in his court. I'll observe if he tries to win my love back or he does nothing about it.
First of all, it could be a passing moment.. Someone said once that there are times when you feel like you're just not in love anymore and then there are times when you fall in love all over again. So while one day you might wake up and feel that you no longer love that person, you have to wonder..will there come a time that you get that first love crush feeling again? Or is it really over? As for staying with someone to keep from hurting them, that won't work. In the long run, staying will only hurt them more. Why not set them free to find their own real true love?
If this was is a marriage, I would suggest counseling before walking away. Marriage is to be taken seriously. At any rate, think it totally through.
My husband hurt me for five months then woke up one morning and asked me if I was happy. He had not spoken to me for five months. I wasn't happy. I asked for a divorce cause it turns out he didn't want to be the bad guy. These days I never stay with anyone or anything that does not totally want me and when I leave I never look back. I don't date much, I avoid giving second chances and being alone is a trade off for never going through 5 months of complete hell again.
Love really is a tricky thing. Our society tends to use it rather loosely, and (many times) unfortunately, society is a part of everyone.
But to answer your question... I would not stay. You only have one life - why would you choose to be miserable during it?
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